FEAR WITH FACE

At times I’m afraid
I taste it
I smell it
this nightmarish fear
Not a fear of what I’m
but what I’m becoming
At times I’m afraid
Filled with this
gothic fear
A fear with a face
Not a fear of where I’m
but of what the next breathe brings
But this fear
this fear with a face
this fear without a trace
leaves me in a trance
but with a choice
this fear
that scares the shit out of me
is immutable
dumb silent
waiting
brooding
sizing
timing
the opportune moment
to pounce and maim
But maybe
Maybe before then I’ll be dead
or courageous enough
to run to my fears
or mate in the darkness
waiting in limbo
like a lost a lost zombie
But maybe
this fear with a face
will help me unmask mine
pull off these masquerades
these plastic smiles
these procrastinations
and face ME head-on like a man